She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
