ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Randomize
