This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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