as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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