Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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