I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
