Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
