as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize