Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize