I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
