I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
