Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
