Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I touched a dick in church today
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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