who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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