Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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