in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
