erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
