wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
