do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
