she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
