how hairy? two words: wookie tits
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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