That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
