i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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