so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
