These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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