Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
