Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
