redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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