The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
