Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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