you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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