I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You can't special order awesome
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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