i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Someone shit on the floor
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
