woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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