North Korea, Best Korea!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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