Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So much Jack, so little girl.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
