it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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