You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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