I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
