The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
