What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize