I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
