i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
