the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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