She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
