my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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