i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
