I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize