I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
