And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
