She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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