How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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