Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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