He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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