Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
