he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
