you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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