Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
