i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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