the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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