I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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