love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
