so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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