Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
