none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
false alarm, still single
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