I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
