I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
