Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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