Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize