your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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